Talking Dirty: What Your Lover Wants to Hear During Sex

Choose a Girl

Perhaps the best received form of dirty talk is simply complimenting your partner’s performance as well as articulating what you want your partner to do to you, or what you want to do to your partner. It’s all about the delivery.One of the secrets to great dirty talk isn’t just what you say, but how you say it. This also helps if you’re still feeling a little shy, since it’s often easier to whisper something than to say it out loud (not to mention the fact that apartment walls can be pretty damn thin). This isn’t a job interview, so there’s no need for a stiff, formal chat. But it’s worth gauging if your partner has specific turn-ons or turn-offs. A good way to do this, I think, is by disclosing your own first (“It really gets me going when someone says good girl”).

Is Dirty Talk an Element of Foreplay?

And there are plenty of dirty things to text your boyfriend or whisper in his ear. This might surprise you, but dirty sex talk works best in boosting a man’s ego in bed. If you were wondering what men want in bed, well dirty talking is one of those things.

  • When done right it can get you more turned on and lead to more intimacy with a partner.
  • Over time, many couples stop experimenting with different recipes and start cooking with just salt and pepper.
  • Dr. Tara says one accessible way to talk dirty is to simply describe (exactly) what’s happening as you’re having sex.
  • This will help you get comfortable without diving too deep or too fast.
  • Ideally, sex is fun and fulfilling, and acknowledging phrasing that didn’t quite land or titillate as it was intended is one way to take some pressure off and keep things light.

Use These Words to Drive Her Wild

But it’s especially true when you’re establishing this more advanced style by adding layers of identity, specificity, and storytelling. It’s flat out recommended that initial explorations into dirty talk start as a solo activity, whether it’s practicing getting vocal or just exploring linguistic genres of erotica while masturbating. First and foremost, try to get all your preconceived notions about dirty talk — how it’s”supposed” to sound or what you’re “supposed” to say — out of your head. Your biggest overall obstacle is simply getting out of your own head about it.

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Consider consulting a sex therapist to shed the load off your shoulders and pave the way for better sexual health. Now imagine saying the same thing, “I’m so bummed that we’re on a plane, I really want to feel your lips on my pussy right now,” while slowly running your fingers up his inside leg. Then after saying it, you slowly pull back and make eye contact with him while smirking at him. If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you’ll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous & “dumb” sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them.

Dirty talk might feel awkward, especially at first, but you’ll find your rhythm with time and practice. Personalize these phrases to fit your relationship, and match the language you and your partner already use. Remember, one couple’s vanilla is another couple’s kink. Whether you’re having phone sex for the first time or you’re in a long-distance relationship, here are some dirty things to say when you’re virtually connecting with someone.

—an intersectional publication based on Medium—who writes along the intersections of race, sexuality, mental health, and politics. That’s why we’ve gathered insight from 5 (s)experts to help us break down what you should say to get them (and yourself) going. We’ve got step-by-step instructions, tips, and even examples to improve your skills. Don’t try to say a bunch of these things if they sound foreign and awkward coming out of your mouth. If you know what your girl likes, you can better tailor what you say.

The dirty things to say to a girl that work the best are always the things that’ll spark the most interest in her. A really deep, romantic kiss will already turn her on and then you say something very dirty when she’s expecting something sweet. Fill in the blanks to spin some sexy scripts of your own.

Of course, the reaction we hope for when we start talking dirty to a partner is shock and delight. But while some couples love the idea of it, others may struggle with stepping outside their comfort zone. Make sure you communicate how you feel about it while in a safe space emotionally with your significant other. In addition to verbal cues, she also highly recommends that people be on the lookout for non-verbal cues too, as these can be vital to gauge the comfort levels of someone. “Be clear of the line between playful nudging and coercion. Never cross the line into coercion-even in dirty talk — do not confuse that with coercion or sexual power play that is clearly asked for and consented as a part of the dirty talk scene,” Hauser states.

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